Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, so I thought for those of you who haven’t purchased anything yet, I might help out a little with a few ideas. And let’s face it, that’s the majority of you guys out there.
Women know that most guys don’t think ahead about this sort of thing, and that it’s a painful thing for them to sit down and actually think about what their lady might like. We all know that you’d rather just write out a check, or buy us dinner. And you know, a lot of us would probably be fine with that. Really.
But what we’d really like is something romantic. Ah, that collective groan I just heard was a bit less than inspiring, gentlemen. Oh no, this is going to be like work, you say.
Romantic. What does that mean, where do I find it, and what’s it going to cost, right? Well, hold on a sec … maybe things aren’t quite as dismal as you think.
There’s an old riddle that goes something like this. If a man could choose to give a woman a rose a day for a month or a gift of 30 roses all at once, which do you think she would prefer?
Now most guys might think 30 roses is pretty impressive, so that’s their answer. And it makes sense. There might be ladies out there who would genuinely would be impressed by such a grand show of affection. However, the correct answer is a rose a day over a month’s time.
But why? Most guys would consider that a lot of work and not bother. After all, flowers just wither and die, right? A waste of money, some may think. But from a woman’s point of view, it shows that her man thought about her every day for a month. And that’s what’s romantic.
You see, it’s not the price of the gift. It’s not the size of the gift. It’s not the quantity of the gift. It’s not even the gift, actually. The real gift is simply that you thought of her, every day, for a month. You took time to show her that she is special.
And this, gentlemen, is what all women want. This is the answer you have been looking for. Are you ready for the big secret? Here it is – women want to be cherished.
That’s it? You say. Well, yes. It’s really that simple. But you have to make the effort to show her that she is cherished. And that means you need to do something that you know she will appreciate, and that means you need to pay attention to her and what she holds dear. What’s important to the woman you love?
The way you find out is by paying attention. Watch what she says about what’s special or beautiful. What makes her feel good, both physically and emotionally? What relaxes her? What makes her laugh? These are the keys to touching a woman’s heart. Paying attention to the things she loves, and the things that make her who she is. That’s all you have to do.
That might simply be telling her every day how much you appreciate her. Is that through words, a poem, a song? Or is it better communicated through a touch, like a long hug, holding her hand during a walk, or a kiss on the cheek after dinner?
You would be surprised what seemingly little things like that can do for romance. You probably aren’t believing a word of this, it’s just too crazy and simple … but try it and see. For here’s another secret … the little things are actually the big things.
You should be doing stuff like this every day, though. Holding the door for her, pulling her chair out at dinner, helping her on with her coat, warming up her side of the bed, bringing the car around so she doesn’t have to walk so far. These little acts of love and respect will endear you to her in a way nothing else can.
You’ll need to up your game a bit for the big Valentine’s holiday, though. What things does she pause by in the store and take a moment to peruse? Is it something she’d never buy for herself because she’s too practical? Go buy it. Is it a cozy table at an expensive restaurant? Reserve it. Would she get a kick out of you stating your love for her in a very big way? Put it on a billboard.
Alternatively, spend very little. Tell her why you love her. Better yet, write it down in a beautiful card and present it to her with a single rose. This year, make the card by hand. It doesn’t have to be fancy.
Remember, she’ll think it’s wonderful simply because you took the time to make her something with your own two hands. Make several. Leave them in places she’ll find them throughout the day.
As long as you are making things, how about making a meal for her? Make a CD of songs that remind you of her and how you feel about her. Frame your favorite picture of the two of you together.
Buy her favorite wine, build a fire in the fireplace and have a romantic picnic on the floor with her favorite music playing in the background. Scatter rose petals from the door to the picnic area for bonus points.
If there’s a chore she hates to do, do it for her. If there are several, get them all done so she can simply enjoy her evening with you. Let her choose the activity, then give her your undivided attention. But do it for real, guys. This is something you won’t be able to fake your way through.
Now don’t go getting her dumb stuff, like exercise machines and household appliances. Those are not romantic in any way, and you’ll just make her feel fat and lazy if you buy those things, even if she isn’t either of them.
If you make her feel good, happy, and secure, just watch what happens. You will be rewarded in ways you might not even imagine. You getting the idea?
And ladies, this goes for you as well. Tell your guy how much you appreciate what he does for you. Notice it, and tell him about it. Stop belly aching about stuff and just give him a hug when he gets home or when you get home. Give him a back rub without him having to ask. Make his favorite dinner.
Take him to his favorite movie. Yes, you can make it through a two-hour action flick without making a face or whining. After the movie, go out for ice cream, but instead of cones, order a big bowl of your favorites and feed them to each other.
Sounds corny, but doing stuff you used to do when you were dating will make you both feel like you did when you were dating. Just remember to cherish each other, and there’s no way you can go wrong.
Originally published February 7, 2014.