The other day while on a road trip, I heard a song I’d not heard before. This wasn’t surprising, as I never spend long periods in my car listening to the radio, so it was an interesting experience on a variety of levels. As I listened, I was particularly affected by the lyrics of the song, and how sad they were. Not sad in the emotional way, though. Sad as in pitiful. The song was “I’ve Got a Girl Crush” by Little Big Town.
It’s a song sung by a woman who wishes she were like another woman she seemingly admires, but only because that woman is dating a man she wants to be with, and can’t get. In fact, every line of the song is about her yearning to be someone other than who she is. My first reaction was, what a ridiculous premise for a song. What a sad woman, who has zero self-worth and can’t understand that a man who doesn’t appreciate her for who she is, is not a man she wants to bother with. Why waste time wishing to be like this woman?
Of course the song is about a made-up woman, and constructed as such in order to play on emotions and thus make the singer all sorts of money – but her words are affecting real-life women, and probably men too, who wish they were like other men who get the ladies they wish they could. What a waste of energy and emotion.
It made me wonder how many times people listen to this song, a song with a concept that has the power to hold them where they are, convinced that if only they could be something else, they would get what they want. Longingly staring at that closed door, and ignoring all the other possible empowering options. After all, if a celebrity is singing about it, people feel validated, and we all know how much misery loves company.
It’s certainly not true, and those thoughts can stand in the way for people stuck in a similar situation. The song itself prevents creative, positive thoughts and traps the listener in a world of lies. Lies that the brain wants to believe. It made me wonder how many songs there are out there that we are listen to, identify with, and then allow their victimizing words to affect our lives.
It made me glad that I don’t often listen to the radio, so I’m not as affected. And if one comes on, I’ll turn it off. It made me think of all those revenge-type songs about divorce there are, and how when I was going through that time in my life, every time one came on when out with my friends, how they would want me to sing along loudly to express what they apparently thought I was feeling.
I didn’t sing along, because I feel divorce is a very personal situation, and every divorce is different. You can’t assume you know everything about someone who’s been divorced, even if you’ve been through one yourself. They all happen for different reasons, and everyone’s reaction to it is very personal and private. I didn’t think expressing my feelings loudly in a tavern was the way to go. Besides, I really didn’t want revenge. I just wanted my life back, so I could move in a more positive direction and leave the pain and the past behind.
I’m glad I don’t watch a lot of television, because commercials are based on the same concept as popular songs are. Appeal to people’s insecurities and fears, and they will purchase anything. If you stop watching television for a few months and then see just a few minutes of commercials, you’ll notice this, and then you realize that by making a choice not to watch, you’ve cut a lot of negative, uncecessary propaganda out of your life.
You start thinking for yourself, and thinking more clearly. You start purchasing only what you obviously need. You concern yourself only with actual issues that exist, not ones that could possibly pop up, or imagined ones. You start living in the present, the now. You find yourself happier, more often.
And if you’re like me, instead of waiting for constructive, creative and positive messages to come to you – which they will – you actively seek them out, and start accumulating them. I write the good ones down, and many times post them where I’ll see them often. And it’s very interesting, but the more often you listen to and read these messages, the more they solidify your thoughts. They attract more of the same, and the affect is cumulative.
Instead of collecting and dwelling on negative messages that feed on insecurities and fears, you’ve now got the ball rolling in the other direction, and the momentum takes over and begins to drive your thoughts and your life in a positive direction. You start running into people who have the same energy and vibe, because like attracts like, and before you know it, there’s no longer room for that negativity you once found chasing you.
Now this isn’t magic – it doesn’t go away completely, but what happens is instead of finding you and taking up residence in your thoughts and your life, negative and depressing patterns bounce off and deflect without having nary an effect at all. You find that eventually you won’t allow it. You won’t tolerate that sort of energy, because it feels foreign to you, and you know it doesn’t belong. It’s not part of you anymore. You’ve evolved.
So be careful what you choose to allow in your thoughts and in your life. You don’t have to subscribe to what’s being thrown at you on a daily basis in the media. You have a choice. You don’t have to be pulled into the storm. You can turn it off, and take control of how you want your world to be. You just have to decide to begin.
Originally published July 17, 2015